Tuesday Blessings

Day to day life is very normal for me these days, but my mental state is very surreal. I remember Anne Nizze (from the John Wayne clinical trial), telling Megan to only think about cancer treatments when you absolutely had to, like when you're walking in the door to get one, but the rest of the time don't dwell on it. I don't think I dwell on it but it does pop into my head at very strange times. Like today as I showered I was hit by the idea that God doesn't make bad things happen to you, but to our knowledge he doesn't stop them as life is meant to teach us to deal with our trials, but he must have good things planned for me as He saw to it that my cancer was diagnosed years before it would have shown up on routine tests and therefore easily contained. I must admit though, at this point, every time I get an ache or pain or strange feeling, I start wondering if it is a side effect of my medication or some new symptom, but it always turns out to be a passing ache or pain.
I went in today to have blood drawn for a cancer surviorship study I am participating in and when I got home I received a phone call from a women at Columbia University asking if I would participate in their study. I said sure as it is only a series of phone interviews over the next couple of years and somebody should get something out of my experience.
The Book of Mormon talks of the "Tender Mercies" of the Lord. I do find I am noticing them more and more, simple blessings, like if I had to go through this, I got to do it at a beautiful time of the year. It is no longer cold and gloomy which could have made it really difficult to not be depressed. Instead, the weather here in Sacramento is glorious, all the flowers in the yard are in full bloom and Larry's garden is growing so I get to see rebirth and good health all around me, and for that I am grateful.